Philadelphia Phillies: Is it Time for a Bryce Harper Tattoo?
I've been watching the internet for any sign that this is an April Fool's joke. Three consecutive days of waking up in a euphoric Philly time loop has completely healed the carnage caused by Us. I haven't slept since seeing the trailer. The Phillies lineup, a musical hopscotch of righty, righty, lefty; righty, righty, lefty, is coming together like the chorus line from Newsies. And fans are screen-shotting the National League standings at MLB.com for their profile pics. Or that's just me. My dog is even happy. She hasn't snapped at anyone in 24 hours. Or maybe that's because we took her to my in-laws where Aunt Lisa fried her a steak. I wish I was kidding. Even Gabe Kapler was celebrating. I swear I saw him smile. Then Rhys Hoskins got clipped . He's another broken jaw away from his goal weight. But he'll have to try Weight Watchers until May because as much as Shane Carle wanted him uncomfortable at the plate, I don't think h...