Philadelphia Phillies Win NLDS: Did I Hear an Innuendo in There?
I thought my kid gave me gray hair. I think we all agree that the game that clinched the Phillies' NLDS championship was a hair-pulling, nerve-racking, nail-biting, drunk-inducing, hyphenated stress-fest. Before the game even started, I was so nervous I had to find something to do with my hands. And since I’m married, I chose cooking. What’d you think I was going to say? But as my level of anxiety built with each inning, I had gone on such a cooking terror that, by the ninth inning, I had roasted a chicken, baked a pie, canned tomatoes, mashed potatoes, and had a casserole ready for the oven. The problem is, in my frenzy, I don’t recall where I got the meat. Hmmm, where’s that pesky cat? I’m kidding, don’t tell PETA. I’d never chop up my cat for a casserole. Maybe for a stew. I hear they’re gamey. No, really, I’m just kidding. I’d never chop up my own cat. I’d use the local stray. Wait, isn’t there a Chinese take-out joke in there somewhere? I’ll stop now. But I have some d...