Philitically Incorrect

by Cindy Falteich Well, the inevitable happened. On August 2nd, 2011, I was censored off the blog site  The Bleacher Report . They said my posts were over the limit on their content criteria and I had failed the limbo with my language. Much like the Game Commission, they were hunting for violators and I’d been tagged. (The blog that started the ending is  here .)  I said,  “ I shouldn't be held responsible. I only did what I did because love came to town." It didn't matter. Obviously relaying my honest intentions regarding the bodies of major league players is immoral, especially when the site has highly intelligent life forms posting articles like ‘Sexy American Wags’ or ‘40 Hottest MLB Wags’ or ‘One Night Stand Wags’ (WAG = Wives and Girlfriends). I mean there’s nothing more offensive than reading the secret thoughts of a middle-aged MILF when guys are secretly stroking in the john with their ‘Wag of the Week.’ Fortunately for you, I’...

So, I’m watching TV waiting for these people to get eaten by sharks when a thought crosses my mind: They can’t get eaten—they’re telling the story. But wait. I can only see them from the neck up. Perhaps someone lost a limb. There is hope. There is hope for a pennant too. That same “Throw them to the sharks” mentally is what Phillies fans are notorious for, so will they sigh with content at two straight four-game sweeps at home or will they expect the team to go in for the kill? I’m not suggesting the Phillies will have to claw and scrape their way to the top of the division but it sure is nice to attain something with the effort the team has extended lately. Take Ryan Howard for instance. He’s my vote for hardest working first baseman in America. It’s easy to observe his greatness, especially when he’s playing opposite Jason Giambi. Ryan was sliding and diving and working so hard he looked like he was dipped in chocolate sprinkles. Someone should lick him off. I’m sorr...

Things have certainly not been going well. It might be the Year of the Pitcher somewhere, but not in Philadelphia. I’m sorry. Perhaps that wasn’t supportive. Let’s petition to focus only the positives. I’ll start: Jimmy Rollins is the current active leader in consecutive steals, Placido Polanco is back from the DL with his team-leading batting average, and Ryan Howard leads the league in RBI. Jayson Werth, however, has developed an unexplained aversion for touching his bat to the ball. Someone should tell him it won’t make you blind. Here’s another petition: stop the Tweet-volume graphs on the game recaps. There’s nothing more irrelevant to the game. It’s no secret that the volume of twits tweeting about the Phils is directly proportional to stuff happening during the game. It’s just as circumstantial as the level of disgust rising in my house when my husband uses the john. It’s not rocket science. Supposedly things are so bad people are petitioning to get Pat Burrell b...