Phillies-Red Sox Game One: Women Umpires in Baseball
Umpires always have the option of confirming a call with their crew. They also have the option of reviewing a home run call with instant replay. But they sometimes don’t. That’s why I should be an umpire. First of all, I’d wear a little pink. Maybe I’d swipe a streak across my lips or just pin a breast cancer awareness ribbon on my chest. No, not on my chest. There’s nothing to call attention to there. Maybe on my sleeve, like where the Phillies 2008 World Champion patch is. Then before each batter, I’d remind myself that you can’t actually touch the players. Then I’d remember that this is major league baseball. It doesn’t get any bigger than this. What’s the harm in asking for some help? The problem boils down to one thing: men asking for directions. Yup. That’s why I propose woman umpires in baseball. We like to keep everyone happy, we bake, and we don’t mind asking for help. Sometimes we even look pretty good doing it. And if the league’s not considering my proposal for cheerleaders...