Everything I Know About Baseball I Learned From "Elf"

My dad visited the cemetery today and he's happy to report that no one's missing.

That includes Brad Lidge's adrenalin, Jimmy Rollins' batting average, JC Romero's permission to pitch, Shane Victorino's bat, Greg Dobbs pinch-hitting skills, and Brett Myers mojo.

They're all still gone.

Heck, Chase Utley hasn't smiled since his last error. And I love smiling; smiling's my favorite.

So after four straight losses, I think the Clausometer says it all. We've got no spirit. And everyone knows the best way to spread Phillies cheer is singing loud for all to hear.

That's why, no matter what happens in this series, on Thursday I'll be the loudest fan in section 145, singing Take Me Out To The Ballgame.

Go Phils!

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