Philitically Incorrect

I'm writing this from a hotel room near the scenic Georgia-Florida line. When I tell the locals I'm from Philadelphia, that either makes me odd or special. My husband says in my case, those are the same thing. I made an important observation on the trip down: When you pass a car in the pouring rain and every window is cracked three inches, you instantly know someone farted. You know when you're too far south on 95 when billboards start advertising live baby gators, BBQ, injury lawyers and pro-life propaganda, followed by none other than Cafe Risque. I think they skewed the order. I'm pretty sure it's pro-life then BBQ except after strip club. And injury lawyers should come after baby gators. Or before them. I should let someone know. June is National Candy Month. When it comes to "National (insert cause here) Month," I feel slightly unfulfilled.  Now, give me National Eye Candy Month and I'll buy t-shirts, hone my sarcasm and warn my l...

The regular major league baseball season is 162 games. The total accumulation of bouts that go well vs. those that go horribly wrong, leads to either a happy wife or one that'll pack on ten pounds until you apologize. Wait, I think I mixed metaphors.  My husband says that's not an excuse for getting something wrong. Except it actually is. Last Wednesday, the Phillies hit rock bottom in a 15-1 trounce in Game 3 against the former Bryce Nationals.  If that happens again, they'll have to build a Nutrisystem stand at Citizens Bank Park. Or schedule some "Bring your dog to the ballpark" games to fill seats. Or risk becoming Marlins Park. Quick count of crowd at #Marlins - #Phils : 1,590. It's a good day to get a foul ball. — Steve Wine (@Steve_Wine) May 31, 2017 By the 9th inning of that romp, Gabe Kapler had a decision to make:  bring in a position player to close the game or  strip naked.  I'm always surprised he doesn't choose ...

The world is awash with news so I thought I'd take this opportunity to give it a fresh perspective. Or to just get fresh.  Besides, waiting for Opening Day is as excruciating as watching my sister-in-law parallel park.  We'd help her, but it's far more fun standing around yelling, "FORE!" The big news is, four Phils have graced the recent cover of Sports Illustrated:  Phil Hoskins Phil Harper Phil Nola Phil Realmuto If this is the first time in eight years that the organization earned covergirl status, I have some advice: Try getting married. The span between notable events will seem far longer. Or it actually will be. Back in 2011, the Phillies were also all the SI buzz. That's when the Fab Five: Roy Halladay (RIP), Cliff Lee, Cole Hamels and Roy Oswalt were perched atop the stout thighs of Joe Blanton.  That was the year Ruben Amaro, Jr. took the over/under on the  Moneyball  theory and lost . That was the same...